Starting a New Life Abroad

Yesterday, I decided to tidy up my room.

I started off the day with changing the bed sheets and duvet covers. I aired the duvet and the pillows. I had a minor dust allergy attack. My nose felt itchy and I sneezed a few times. That really surprised me because I never had allergy attack ever since I stayed in new flat.

I put up some new posters that I got from my trip on one of my bedroom walls: Theophile Steinlen’s Tournee du Chat Noir and Van Gogh’s Starry Night. A black-and-white Reservoir Dogs poster seized the other wall.

Around 11am, I had an urge to have a bath. An unusual time to soak up, indeed. I took my phone and Toby Litt’s Exhibitionism to the bathroom. The phone rang just as soon as I let a sigh after I sat down in the warm foamy water. The crazy guy who called thought that I was in cave because of the echo that the bathroom tiles made. He didn’t realise that he was calling me on my landline number, not on my mobile. I couldn’t possibly have gone to a cave with my landline phone set, could I?

I did some work in the afternoon.
I left my laptop off.

Read, made notes, read, made notes, read, made notes.
Read, made notes, read, made notes, read, made notes.
Got bored.
Ate sandwich, nasi goreng, nasi uduk, pisang, idih perut apa perut ????
Read some more.
Made some more notes.
Read some more.
Made some more notes.
Gave up at 6.30.
Made dinner.

After dinner, my head was still buzzing from reading those fucking analysis result, so I decided to brainwash myself. I watched 10 episodes of South Park and had endless fits of laughter during Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants (Episode 74, Season 5). I got tears in my eyes when I finally stopped laughing. It was the funniest episode I’ve ever seen since I started my not-so-fast South Park marathon some weeks ago. Hell, it was the funniest shit I’ve encountered in 2006 so far that succesfully made me laugh histerically!
Goddammit. Here I am writing and thinking about it and still giggling.

Did I just give the impression that I’m living a not-so exciting life?
I beg to differ.
I highly appreciate my humour fuse.

………

On friday I got a bad stomach butterfly and was thinking to call off sick but I remembered my boss would be in and I really needed to talk to him about my work contract. Well, I know he’s in now, but busy as usual. He’s got to supervise some new employee. I don’t think I could reach him today.

Despite the stomach-things, my moods are now surprisingly quite stable.
Going home sounds tempting.
I’m looking forward to receiving some dvd’s

*beep*
Hey, my mobile just beeped.
A text from someone saying that he’s in Bali now, missing me, wishing that I’m okay and hoping to see me soon.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
DID HE WRITE BALI????
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

………

must. stop. screaming.
must. not. throw. mobile. to the wall.
must. stop. segueing. from one topic. to another.
must. stop. writing.

I will thank the person who has introduced me to this captivating poetic work.
I shall write him,

Thank you for the lovely poem.
Thank you, for reminding and teaching me to appreciate.
Again.
Most people don’t really have a clue of what they’ve got until it’s gone.
Until it’s too late.
Thank you.

(*I miz sum1 outhre. JV)

I think it’s time to post my travel notes without further delay.
I should warn you, this is gonna be a long post.
So here goes…

DESTINATION 1:

AMSTERDAM

, THE

NETHERLANDS

Sunday-Tuesday, April 2006
Weather: 7-14C. Cold sharp wind. It was mostly dry and sunny but there was a time when I experienced a lot of sun, rain, and sleet in a matter of minutes.

Prior to last week’s trip, I’ve been to Amsterdam 3 times. The last time was only last year. Truthfully I kinda ran out of ideas of what to do in Amsterdam, because I think I’ve done everything. Read the chronological list below of my visits and you’ll see what I mean:

1982
I don’t remember much coz I was only a kid. My family and I lived in

France

back then and we went to

Amsterdam

to visit and stay at my auntie’s who at that moment was studying in

Amsterdam

. I remember the house and the Dutch stuff that my auntie had and the canals.

February 2001
Another trip with my family. Visited Van Gogh Museum, Madame Tussauds and several other museums. Went on the canal cruise. It was a historical-and-art family trip kind of thing.

April 2005
Travelled with a bunch of crazy Greeks.

Amsterdam

was at its best because we came during the celebrations of the Queen’s birthday. The city centre was closed for vehicles except for ambulances and police cars. Visited the Sex Museum, The Red District, Keukenhof (the massive tulip garden) and Hash Marijuana Hemp Museum. Went on the canal cruise again. Got drunk literally every night with people partying on the streets non-stop for 3 days. Smoked too much pot. Had fun at a jazz cafe in Leidseplein.

April 2006
The highlights were the trips to a cheese and clogs factory, a Dutch windmill, Volendam (a small fisherman’s town outside Amsterdam where you can find people in traditional dresses), The Flower Market, The Holland Casino complex near Leidseplein, and of course… The Heineken Brouwery. The Brouwery is really cool!!! It’s got several rooms to enter and they’re a mix of some futuristic and also historical stuff. It costs 10 Euros to be able to check out the story of how Heineken business started, receive 3 complementary half pints of Heineken, make your own DJ scenes, and many more! Fuckin awesome!

Hmm… so what else was there in

Amsterdam

?
Oh! I came across an Indonesia Exhibition in Dam Square, complete with two huge banners with ‘

Indonesia

‘ written on them at the front of the Nieuwe Kerk building where the exhibition took place. What a surprise.
Uh, I also found bags of emping that were sold next to packs of crisps and crackers in a supermarket. *LOL* The emping was yummy!

DESTINATION 2:

BRUSSELS

,

BELGIUM

Tuesday-Wednesday, April 2006
Weather: 9-14C. Very sunny and quite warm. It drizzled for a short while in the afternoon.

I’ve never been to Belgium before, so this trip really psyched me. Brussels is characterised by both French and Flemish (Dutch) cultures, with stronger influence of the former than the latter. The city is divided into two parts, the old city and the

new city

. The old city is filled with historical buildings with amazing architectures, whereas the

new city

is more metropolitan where the EU district is located. Unfortunately my stay in Brussels wasn’t long enough to let me explore the city in and out but I managed to go to The Grand Place (one of the most beautiful squares I’ve ever been in my life) and Palais Royale, see the famous Manneken Pis that fell below my expectation because the statue size was miniscule, get overdosed on Belgian chocolate, take a city tour bus where I made at a stop at the amazing Cinquantenaire Park and Botanique Park, and explore The Comic Strip Museum. The

Comic

Museum

is really worth a visit for fans of Tintin, Lucky Luke, Asterix and other Franco-Belgian comics. The information on the comic strips are in French and Dutch but there is a guidebook in English that can be borrowed from the entrance of the museum.

On my way leaving

Brussels

, I took some pictures at the Atomium. This really out-of-this-world maginificent building is a must-see place in

Brussels

. Check out this website for more information.

DESTINATION 3:

PARIS

,

FRANCE

Wednesday-Saturday, April 2006
Weather: 9-15C. It was super sunny and hot (for me) but many Parisians were still wearing their coats and scarfs while I only had a tshirt.

Paris

…
…is absolutely one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

I used to live in the city more or less for a year when I was little. In 2001, while the French still used French Franc as their currency, I visited the city again with my family to retrace our steps back and rekindle our memories of our life in

France

. My trip last week has presented me a different kind of appreciation to the city, as this time I came without my parents. I was free to enjoy the city my way.

So where should I start?

La Tour Eiffel was my starting point on Thursday. The weather was perfect and it made the pictures I took look so unreal. I didn’t go up to the tower coz I had done it twice already and decided to get on The Batobus instead, the shuttle-boat service that takes the passengers up and down the

Seine

river. I could hop on and hop off at any stops I liked and the ticket was valid for the whole day. My first stop was at Notre Dame and I was really amazed by its gothic architecture. It’s pretty different from the churches I’ve been in

England

.

The next stop was Louvre. It was my second time to go to the museum and this time I’d made sure that I would go to the rooms of sculptures and paintings that I didn’t get to see in 2001. I had seen the Mona Lisa painting 5 years ago yet I decided to see it again. Nothing was different with the picture, of course (well, the lady was still smiling), but the security got tighter than the last time I came.

I hopped on the Batobus again and went to the avenue of Champs-Elysees where I walked down the road towards Arc de Triomphe. I took a picture in the middle of the busy wide road. I made a policeman a bit pissed off thanks to my lousy French *LOL* (but in the end the rather cute policeman understood what I wanted to say and kissed my cheek to apologise for his outburst. What a cheeky bloke!) There were indeed a lot of policemen around as many demonstrations and protests took place due to the new labour laws being signed off by Chirac just several days before I arrived in

Paris

. I was just glad that the hotel where I stayed was on the outskirt of

Paris

coz I heard that the protests also happened in the evening causing disruption of transportation.

On Friday, I traveled to a place outside

Paris

that I will write about later on.

Saturday was the last day of my trip. I started off from Opera National de Paris in Palais Garnier, and to Place de La Concorde, walked down Rue de Rivoli, went pass Le Musee du Louvre and St Roch and returned to Palais Garnier. I stopped by at Lafayette (the big Parisian department store comparable to

London

’s Harrods) where I bought my lunch and ate it on the stairs of Place de l’Opera under the sun. Speaking of lunch, what I thought as sweet chili sauce that came with my seafood salad with vermicelli was actually asinan sauce. I’m serious!!! It was freshly delicious! I had no idea that the French knew asinan. *LOL*

DESTINATION 4:

DISNEYLAND

 

PARIS

Friday, April 2006
Weather: 10-15C, really sunny with perfect blue skies.

I’m really a child at heart or else I haven’t got any other explanation on why I got so excited to see Goofy and Tigger and Donald Duck and The Lion King and roller coasters, and why I felt so happy roaming around The Disney Park from 10.30 in the morning till 8 in the evening, and why I spent a lot of money with only a little effort of thinking.

*sigh*
Who wants to be a grown up when kids can have so much fun?
I don’t.

Congratulations!
You’ve finally reached the end of my Euro Trip story!

What has made every leg of the trip special regardless I had previously visited two out of the three cities on the itinerary was the fact that I was on a couch (bus) trip. The trip was organized by some sort of a student union of the uni where a friend of mine goes to in

London

. The cost I had to pay was worth every penny, if not cheaper than booking through some well-known travel agency. The hotels were comfy, the coach and the coach driver were nice, the organizer was actually younger than me but as crazy and also adventurous. I had my first experience of crossing the ocean between

Dover

(

England

) to

Calais

(

France

) by ferry. Traveling with uni students gave me an advantage coz I paid entrance fees to museums and places of attraction with student price. At places where I was on my own, my ISIC card that was expired in 2004 was still accepted as a proof that I was eligible for discounts. Wicked!

………

Lessons Learned and Traveling Tips
1. I can really really like a particular city (I love

Vancouver

,

Zurich

, and

Melbourne

) but I prefer going to places/cities/countries that I’ve never been to making a revisit to the same place. I learned from my trips to

Amsterdam

that in the future, I shall not go to the same place more than once in less than 3 to 5 years. I know I won’t miss much as it’s highly unlikely that major changes take place during the period.

2. Take the city tour bus if you haven’t got much time.

3. The Belgian blokes are as sweet as the Belgian chocolates.

4. The Frenchmen know how to make a people feel like they’re the most beautiful/handsome people in the world. They’re experts at sweet talk, the Frenchmen, I’m aware of that, but I was up for fun so I played along. *LOL*

5. Take an Ipod/MP3 player/CD player and/or a stack of playing cards or UNO with you. They help you get over the boredom during the city-to-city trips or just act as a distraction to ignore those Chinese students who avoided speaking English and only conversed among themselves in Chinese (not to mention… loudly!) I’m not a racist, but I did get annoyed with them at some point.

6. Eat a lot of fruits and drink lots of water to maintain your strength if you’re planning to do a lot of walking. A good walking shoe is a must!

7. Pack well. You don’t want to bring too many or too few clothes. Check out the weather forecast before you pack so you’ll have the proper clothes. Make sure you’ve got some space for mementoes in your backpack/suitcase.

8. I’ll write more tips if I can remember.

………

I took hundreds of pictures but there is no fudging way I’m going to put them all up here. I’ll post the link to my Multiply as soon as I finish uploading those pictures which is not gonna happen today. Some time next week is a possibility.
Why? Because now, weekend syndrome has come.

I hate it when my favourite tunes/bands/movies become associated with negative feelings, because of one thing or another. Listening and/or watching them are no longer enjoyable but only creating negative thoughts.
The negative emotions I’m referring to are anger, disappointment, hate, suspicion, frustration and other similar hostile emotions.

Let me give you an example.

I once really loathed one of Britney Spears’s songs.

Okay, that may not be a perfect example because basically, I just hate Britney.
Why?
Coz she’s lame and fake.
As simple as that.
But hear me out, and I hope you’ll get my point at the end of my rant.

So yeah, I really hated this one song of hers. Stumbling upon the song by accident when I was screening for radio stations or just flipping through the TV channels could turn my cheerful moods sour in an instant.
The reason of this happiness-the song-sourness Pavlovian sequence to occur was because I once had a big fight with my then girlfriend (long long time ago) and the song was playing at the background when the fight happened. I can’t recall it to mind why and where we had the fight but since then, every single time I heard that song, it brought me back the bad emotions and images of the lovers’ quarrel. Back to present, I can’t remember the title of that Britney’s song either, thanks my outstanding memory-repression ability. But like I said, the song wasn’t that significant for me so it didn’t really matter.
I mean, life went on.
I broke up with my girlfriend (not because of the song, duh!), we went separate ways, and that cursed song was eventually out of the chart.
So, I moved on.

But what would I do when the negative associations happened to my real favourite tunes/bands/movies?

Please bear in mind that these associations do not happen to me that often because believe me, I’m not the kind of person who likes to hold a grudge or remember bad things.

A while ago, I had been unable to listen to this album of one of my favourite bands. Yes, you got that right. It was not only a song, it was the whole album. Listening to any of the tracks reminded me of this crap I had with this someone. Once, or maybe twice, prior to the association, I had listened to the album with the arsehole, and when things went amiss between us, the association happened. I dealt with the problems (the crap) pretty well, but somehow the association stayed. I just could not listen to the tunes without any negativity seeping through to my consciousness.
That really did my head in.

The other day, I decided to give myself a flooding technique. This method, if I remembered it correctly from Basic Psychology 101, was used by behavioural therapists to help their patients to come to terms with their ‘trauma’ by reliving it in detail. I’d never been a big fan of psychoanalysis but heck, I thought, what would I get to lose?

So I plugged the earphones to my iPod and flooded my ears with these negativity-associated songs. I played the album over and over again. Naturally, it didn’t take a minute before the songs relived the bad pictures and emotions. It made me feel upset, so I tried singing along to create a distraction. I hummed. I tried to imagine fun stuff, good friends, getting my salary, whatever. I tried to recall my best holidays. I even gave a shot to this breathing technique that was supposed to enable me to concentrate that my Japanese friend had taught me. I wanted it so much, to be able to disassociate the negative emotions from the songs.

At first, nothing worked.

I spent two hours blasting my eardrums and raked nothing. All I got was a pounding headache and more negative feelings, which didn’t do me any good but only drove me deeper into frustration.

I exhaled deeply.
I still had my earphones in my ears.
The songs kept playing on repeat.
Then in my mind, silently, I started to swear excessively to that person.
I swore so much that it sounded like some kind of a chant.

Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.
FUCK OFF.
Just, FUCK OFF.

I didn’t know how long I did the mad chanting.
A few minutes? Fifteen minutes? Half an hour?
But gradually, somehow, the awful images and emotions started to fade away. I acknowledged this progress. I tried to make my body more relaxed.
I kept swearing in my mind, but the intensity had weakened. The music and the vocals became more clearly and freely heard. Unrestrained.
I increased the volume. I tapped my fingers to my knee and nodded my head, following the rhythm. I could see myself dancing.
I smiled.
Then I stopped swearing completely.

And the music played on.
And I enjoyed.

So, hell… yeah!
I think that day, I’d achieved a disassociation which I initially thought could not really work. I know it was not a pure flooding technique as the real flooding requires a number of flooding sessions followed by traditional psychotherapy sittings. And yeah, I also know that my ‘trauma’ wasn’t that serious. But believe me, it’s a seriously unpleasant pain in the arse not to be able to enjoy your fave tunes because some wanker keeps popping into your already crowded mind whenever you hear the songs.

Perhaps in the future, I should not underestimate the psychoanalytic techniques.

Yeah, Freud, sorry.
I used to think that you were some kind of nut who was so obsessed with abused childhood and sexual gratification.
My bad.

.
Rereading what I’ve written above, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of you think that I’m overreacting, or weird, or crazy even, about this negative associations thing, but I really don’t care.
As long as I’m able to listen to my favourite tracks peacefully again.
I am happy.

And you. Yeah, YOU!
Fuck off.

Notes: So far, this flooding technique has not given me any side effects. But maybe some basic knowledge on psychoanalysis is necessary to avoid adverse reactions. Let the professionals handle the case if your problems are serious and affecting your daily activities.

I was driving down the highway one day and decided to switch the station and I hear a song playing with a bit of a catchy beat to it. Then I start paying attention to the lyrics. I hear a female talkin’ somethin’ about “My humps, my humps, my lady lumps” or something to that affect. At first I was under the impression that this might be the first pop song about female STD’s. But then realized that wasn’t exactly the case.

I keep driving and listening and I hear a small, soft voice in the background “My humps, my humps”… Uhm, that which would be my four year old nephew singing. Yeah, that was a big hell no! What’s the world come to? The Black Eyed Pease would ask “Where Is The Love” which I think is the title of another song of theirs, which I’d rather have heard my four year old reciting if I had to choose.

But gw kok suka ya ni lagu hehehe

BT mode are coming my way as the weather becomes unfriendlier everyday.

I should warn you to b more carefull on road, rainy days, pohon2 tumbang…jadi parno nich kalo bawa mobil deket pu-un trus kaga gerak2 gara2 macet.

smalem aje gw balik nyampe rumah jam 10:10pm….. ampun dech, sampe pencet2 klakson biar dibukaain pintu.

gw kangen bgt sama som1 yang menolak gw…. och shit.

Honey i miz u.

everyday, every hour, every minute, everysecond I put my eyes on to c my cellphone if there’s a text msg from you.(JV i lov u)

Nw im single but not available…. I absolutely feel sad these days about being single

the risk of love - rejection

I will always be there to hold you when you cry
I will always hold the door for you.
I will always surprise you when least expected.
I will always look forward to seeing you.
I will always consider your feelings.
I will always come to your defense.

I will still love you and I won’t let this feeling fade although you said goodbye.

I’m tired as hell because I just moved to my new flat.
[I did some unpacking and put away the laundry right off. I almost ran out of underwear.]

I think my tummy got bigger, thanks to the fast food crap I ate as I had saved my money for some more crazy important things.
[Normally I don't eat McDonald's products. But during my movement, McDonald's and Pizza were some of my survival kits. My digestive system works like shit now but it's worth the fun I had! *LOL*]

Fuck yes….. and fuck no! It was one of the best holidays I’ve ever had! (Read = for moving progress n long weekend) But not for my love story….. A bad day’s love story.

The Pilipino asked to say goodbye. For sure gw nga tw bbrpa malam ni gw jd spt orang ilang akal, days seems so empty. Unreasonable. Eyes getting wet others follow……

Honey…..Life is a gift! Why throw it away? Do something with it! If you don’t like the way it’s going, CHANGE IT! Run away, stay home. Meet some new people; get reacquainted with some old friends. Listen to music, enjoy silence. Just don’t brood on whatever is hurting you!

- If you’re lonely, talk to people. If you believe you have nobody to talk to, you’re wrong. If you only want to talk to one person, and cannot, then get over it, and talk to someone else!
- If you’re conscious about your body/self image, exercise
- If you’re conscious about your intelligence, read books. Take classes
- If you have a problem with an addiction, seek help.
- If you’re feeling angry, get it out! Get a canvas, some paint, and annihilate the canvas with your emotions! Don’t turn your rage inwards. Don’t turn it against others. Turn it against something that’s incapable of feeling pain. Use your imagination! You’re so creative in thinking of ways of killing yourself, why not think of a way of getting your hostility out without hurting anyone? Including yourself?

Whoo hoo!
[Now if I can go back to reality....]

It’s been about four hours since I entered my workplace.
The office is pretty quiet because some people are already on leave or kebablasan leave kali ya????
Colleagues who are in keep popping into my room to ask about my holiday.
My assistant said there wasn’t anything interesting happened when I was away.
I had opened and read my letters, checked my emails.
I discussed some feather light work-related stuff with a colleague for about 15 minutes.
Then I found out that my boss is away until Wednesday.
And… that’s it.
That’s basically the things that I’ve done in the past two hours.

Any efforts to make my brain work today seem to be futile.
Thus I will not be arsed to even try posting my travel notes today because that activity will involve the activation of my brain too.

Being lethargic is my current state.

Perhaps I should just make myself comfortable in front of my laptop, pretend to do something, and count how many days left there are before Easter weekend.

Let’s see…
Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday.
Ah! It’s only three days!
Tee hee!

Four days of low-keyed working days following an awesome holiday just before a super long weekend comes about sounds heaven to me.
I just hope I’ll last till Thursday.

Catch y’all later.